May the other know when I’m scared, and take me in his arms without asking too many questions. May the other be able to notice when I need silence and do not go away slamming the door May the other accepts that I worry about him and do not get angry with my concern, and if it is excessive, know how to say me this clearly and with good humor. May the other notices my weaknesses and do not laugh at me or take advantage of it… That if I’m just tired the other does not just think that I’m nervous, or sick, or aggressive, or say that I complain too much That if I begin to cry for no reason after one of those days, the other does not suspect immediately that it is his fault, or that I don’t love him anymore. That if I’m in a bad phase, the other may be my accomplice... That if I get excited about something the other doesn’t slow me down. That if I eventually lose my patience, lose my grace and lose my composure, may the other still think I’m beautiful and admire me.

-Lya Luft


1984 – 365 Days

#9 1984
You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.
Me. An old version of myself, beaten up by life, by a crappy relationship, abused and unhappy. That person  did not achieve anything. She is ashamed of herself, has no friends, her family couldn’t rescue her, or didn’t want to. She did not believe that, but she is all alone. No interests, no joy, no love, just a slightly illusion of it. She just keep going, incapable of start over, or just end everything.